In memory of my client who passed away
I've started to write this blog post numerous times within the past 9 months.
I've met an amazing woman on September 3rd of last year. The day came for her to get her brows done and she was running a little bit late, but it gave me a some extra time to prepare her room & pigments.
When she finally came in I saw what seemed like an extremely sick, weak woman; she looked thin and boney and she could barely walk. I chatted with her for a bit, handed her the form and went back to my room. I immediately texted my boyfriend who called me back as he knew something was wrong. I was crying so aggravated and I told him that I just could not put myself together and work on this client. He told me to calm down and treat her just the way I treat everybody else. After I calmed down, I went out and brought her to my room hoping she can't see my red eyes. I helped her walk across the hallway, but she said in an embarrassed, but still giggly way " do you think everybody's looking at me?". I casually said "no" and pretended that everything was going to be absolutely fine.
Her skin was so dry that my pencil for hairstrokes just wouldn't glide on her skin no matter how much I sharpened it or warmed it up. I struggled to powder her brows in and continued with the treatment. I lied about all my clients keeping their eyes closed during the tattooing process because my light is just "too strong." I was actually crying constantly during the entire time she was in my chair, but I didn't want her to see that.
She mentioned the cancer has metastasized and she's now treating it in a natural way. For some reason, maybe because she said it with so much positivity and optimism, for one split of a second I thought metastasized meant something good - it meant that the cancer has stagnated. My mind just pushed its real meaning away and I completely forgot about that sentence.
She started telling me about her favourite restaurants & places around Naples and Bonita Springs: she liked C level Bistro, Angelina's Ristorante, Lamoraga, Juicelation, Flipper's on the Bay, Fish Crazy Seafood Market and HobNob Kitchen and Bar. For some reason, I took off my gloves, went to my phone and started taking notes of everything she liked. She was speaking so quietly and calmly. She spoke about her two boys, about all the travelling she's done and how she'll never forget swimming with the sea otters years ago, when she was younger.
After we'd finished, I booked her for a touch-up in November and I looked forward to seeing her again.
On October 25th I was in a hospital getting some yearly check-ups; just before they called my name I received a text message from her husband saying that "My wife ----- passed away last week so she won't need anything but prayers. Mr ----. " The cancer had metastasized! I remembered.
I started crying my heart out. The next three days of my life were just pure hell. I was incapable of doing anything. I'd forget daily errands, vitamins to take and any routine I've ever had, transformed into me sitting on the balcony and crying. I hate Death and I hate everything that comes with it. I hate the suffering that it causes and I hate the emptiness that it leaves behind.
While being an empathetic person will help you understand other people's struggles, it often just manages to bring me down.
I often times think about some of my older clients who have health issues and who haven't gotten a touch-up done in quite a while. I'd like to call them and see that they're well; the possibility of them not being well stops me from doing it. In my head I'll just pretend that everybody is happy, not lonely and hopefully alive: it may sound selfish, but if I don't, I'll just curl up in a ball and go into depression.
I now go to Juicelation almost everyday when I'm in Naples. I eat more healthy fish (at my favorite place ever - USS Nemo), because of her advice and I even tried swimming with the dolphins.
I'm sure the world misses her. If I do after 2 hours of being in her presence, I can't imagine what her loss caused to others.
I now have clients who mention their friend who passed away. And then I realize that they're talking about her. This world is so small. And so are we.
I've met an amazing woman on September 3rd of last year. The day came for her to get her brows done and she was running a little bit late, but it gave me a some extra time to prepare her room & pigments.
When she finally came in I saw what seemed like an extremely sick, weak woman; she looked thin and boney and she could barely walk. I chatted with her for a bit, handed her the form and went back to my room. I immediately texted my boyfriend who called me back as he knew something was wrong. I was crying so aggravated and I told him that I just could not put myself together and work on this client. He told me to calm down and treat her just the way I treat everybody else. After I calmed down, I went out and brought her to my room hoping she can't see my red eyes. I helped her walk across the hallway, but she said in an embarrassed, but still giggly way " do you think everybody's looking at me?". I casually said "no" and pretended that everything was going to be absolutely fine.
Her skin was so dry that my pencil for hairstrokes just wouldn't glide on her skin no matter how much I sharpened it or warmed it up. I struggled to powder her brows in and continued with the treatment. I lied about all my clients keeping their eyes closed during the tattooing process because my light is just "too strong." I was actually crying constantly during the entire time she was in my chair, but I didn't want her to see that.
She mentioned the cancer has metastasized and she's now treating it in a natural way. For some reason, maybe because she said it with so much positivity and optimism, for one split of a second I thought metastasized meant something good - it meant that the cancer has stagnated. My mind just pushed its real meaning away and I completely forgot about that sentence.
She started telling me about her favourite restaurants & places around Naples and Bonita Springs: she liked C level Bistro, Angelina's Ristorante, Lamoraga, Juicelation, Flipper's on the Bay, Fish Crazy Seafood Market and HobNob Kitchen and Bar. For some reason, I took off my gloves, went to my phone and started taking notes of everything she liked. She was speaking so quietly and calmly. She spoke about her two boys, about all the travelling she's done and how she'll never forget swimming with the sea otters years ago, when she was younger.
After we'd finished, I booked her for a touch-up in November and I looked forward to seeing her again.
On October 25th I was in a hospital getting some yearly check-ups; just before they called my name I received a text message from her husband saying that "My wife ----- passed away last week so she won't need anything but prayers. Mr ----. " The cancer had metastasized! I remembered.
I started crying my heart out. The next three days of my life were just pure hell. I was incapable of doing anything. I'd forget daily errands, vitamins to take and any routine I've ever had, transformed into me sitting on the balcony and crying. I hate Death and I hate everything that comes with it. I hate the suffering that it causes and I hate the emptiness that it leaves behind.
While being an empathetic person will help you understand other people's struggles, it often just manages to bring me down.
I often times think about some of my older clients who have health issues and who haven't gotten a touch-up done in quite a while. I'd like to call them and see that they're well; the possibility of them not being well stops me from doing it. In my head I'll just pretend that everybody is happy, not lonely and hopefully alive: it may sound selfish, but if I don't, I'll just curl up in a ball and go into depression.
I now go to Juicelation almost everyday when I'm in Naples. I eat more healthy fish (at my favorite place ever - USS Nemo), because of her advice and I even tried swimming with the dolphins.
I'm sure the world misses her. If I do after 2 hours of being in her presence, I can't imagine what her loss caused to others.
I now have clients who mention their friend who passed away. And then I realize that they're talking about her. This world is so small. And so are we.